DRIVING IN VERMONT

Last week we took an AARP course in defensive driving in order to receive a discount on our car insurance. When we talked about things which annoyed or frightened us when driving, both my husband and I thought of an incident which happened in Vermont where we were vacation.

It was a Sunday morning in July and we were driving on a two lane valley road when all of a sudden a car came down a mountainside road and without stopping proceeded to drive right in front of us. We were unnerved as it continued weaving on the road like a drunk driver. We slowed down to keep out of its way and followed when it turned left onto a four-lane highway.

We thought it would be funny if the driver was on his way to the church where we headed, and sure enough it pulled into the church parking lot.  We watched as it was parked in a section where there were very few cars and were surprised to see a little old lady get out.

After Mass as she was leaving, we pointed her out to the priest. He said he had been trying to get her to stop driving and had told her someone in the parish would be glad to pick her up, but she would have no part of that.

Knowing the location of the local police department, we stopped to report her for dangerous driving. The dispatcher knew exactly who the woman was, but stated they could not take away her license until she had an accident. That was the state law.

Can you imagine what would have happened if this had occurred in wintertime?

AT A GLANCE

I happened to glance at the headline “Florida’s economy turning around” and thought things must finally be looking up for our state. Then I saw the picture of the person who wrote the article, Governor Rick Scott, saw it was on the Opinion page so I didn’t read it.

I don’t have any confidence in his opinions.

HOW ABOUT THOSE SOUTH CAROLINIONS

As you already know, we spent a few years in South Carolina where we learned lots of things about the Southern mentality.

We had made friends with a gentleman from the North who had just moved there a year before us. He was an executive with a small company based in Columbia. He told me the story of the day he had gone to lunch and an elderly woman who was on the board of directors of his business sat down with him because she was alone and recognized him. During their conversation, she asked where his wife was employed and he told her the name of the school where she taught. The woman said “isn’t that a Catholic School, are you Catholic? He said yes. She told him she had never met a Catholic before and after that day she never spoke to him again.

The oldest country club in the area never allowed a black man to use their front entrance. Only black employees were allowed in it and they used the back door. When the Catholic Church was going to hold an event in their dining room, they were told the black priest from their parish was not allowed in their facility.

A woman we knew from Pennsylvania moved into the area, also before us. Her husband, a doctor, was stationed there with Air Force. The home they purchased was situated on a lake where all the neighbors were longtime residents; all of them part of the local gentry. As the only northerners in the enclave, the neighbors never introduced themselves. She was totally disillusioned having come from the upper class themselves.

We had fortunately moved into an area with many families from other states as well as various southerners who embraced us. Our country club had black members including an NBA star. Also, the theater I was working with was in the University area and many of the professors we met were also members, so we made many friends from the college not seemingly bigoted.

Many of the old time Carolinians cared a lot about family silver, china patterns and ancestral names. New born girls were given their fathers first names, so when meeting someone for the first time, it became a little confusing, but reading about all their debuts was fun. One southern gentleman we knew had two daughters, the oldest refused to become a debutante, which pleased her mother, but the second wanted to be presented to society so the pleased father who took her to New York to have a gown designed for the occasion. Mom actually wanted no part of it.

All this was twenty five years ago, lots of things have changed, but according to what you see on the GOP TV debates there, you see the old prejudices are still a large part of the state residents’ mentality.

MENTORING

Through the years when I’d run a committee or an organization, I would always try to teach other members how to do my job. I guess you could say I was a mentor.

As an example, when I ran a large costume ball, during the second year I found a co-chair who would work with me and learn how to run the event the following year so that I could step down. I was always available to give direction if needed.

I did the same thing when running the musicians hospitality committee for the local jazz festival. As part of the yearlong Task Force, I learned how to find free food for two hundred or more artists which was part of their contracts over the course of four days. After visiting restaurants and grocery stores as well as the venders, who contracted to sell their restaurant food in booths at the event, I was able to get donated food. When I decided to step down as chair after being on the committee for seven years, and running it for four of those years, I found a co-chair who would work with me to handle the following year’s event.

The same is true of the card, singing and theater groups which ended up as my responsibility. I always felt that it was necessary to have a successor for any position I’ve held. I never felt the necessity of staying with a group just because I was elected or asked to run it. I’ve always been happy to go on to something different.

If only politicians would feel the same way. It’s not necessary to stay in office because they feel no one else can do it better or maybe until their sons or daughters could get enough recognition to run for the same office when Dad left the government with a lovely retirement plan.

People with enormous egos never learn when to let go.

A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE

When I was in my late 60’s, for the first and only time in my life I was called for jury duty. I showed up at the appointed time and was shown to the courtroom where prospective jurors would be questioned. That’s when we found out that in our room, we would be the one’s selected to serve on the Grand Jury which would handle only capital crimes and it would be necessary to be available one day a month for a full year.

There must have been at least thirty or more people attending and we were each questioned as to whether we had been in jail or had any family in jail, our views on lots of legal issues and whether we would be available for the full year.

Because I had my own car, I could handle that and as an old ambulance chaser, I relished being able to be in the “know” about all sorts of murders in our county. Naturally, I was one of about fifteen chosen. Twelve for the jury and the rest as alternates who must attend all the sessions and hear the same evidence as us, in case one of the regular ones couldn’t make it.

On our first appointed day, we all arrived as scheduled at the Grand Jury Courtroom. Firstly, as on every day we attended, there was an anti-room in which coffee and fresh donuts were available. We socialized for a while and got to know each other. We were all ages of working people as well as retirees. The head court judge welcomed us, explained our duties as we sat in our jury chairs, and we chose as our foreman a young man in his thirties.

Then we were left alone, until a young prosecuting attorney presented a case to us. As a jury in charge of capital crimes, that meant we would only handle murders. The attorney would tell of the circumstances, present evidence and we would hear from the coroner, a police officer, witness or anyone involved with the investigation.  We were encouraged to question them.  After hearing from these persons, we would be left alone to decide if there was enough evidence to indict the suspect or suspects. No one was allowed in the room with us while we made our decision and we were never allowed to reveal what went on in the jury room.

We would decide on three or four cases each month and I will tell you that it was unbelievable how many ways there are to commit murder with a knife. I don’t think we had many murderers that year that even used a gun. In the thirteen years since then it seems that guns are available on every street corner and that every murder is caused by a gun.

One witness had driven in a car with the defendant while the body of her friend, a fellow prostitute was in the trunk. She had strangled her before she had picked him up. I questioned him as to why he did nothing after finding out about the body and he was seemingly stupid, evasive and a druggie to boot. He also said he was horny and the car driver was available for sex. He had known her before. The police found them after the body was dumped in a canal and they were photographed near the scene when they stopped at a gas station.

We returned indictments in all the cases which is what happens in grand jury cases because you are presented with only the prosecution’s evidence and no defense arguments.

We were paid a few dollars for our year’s commitment during which we were able to meet the head judge, all the prosecuting attorneys and learn how not to commit a murder with a knife.  In the next upcoming year, we would be able to read about the trials of all our murderers in the newspaper.

I announced at the end of one of our sessions that I wouldn’t be able to attend the following month because on that day I would be flying home from Paris. No one said anything, so I said to them that I always wanted to say that and no one seemed to be impressed and that I was disappointed at their reaction. So they reacted for me. They were great people. It was a memorable experience!

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WHAT A YEAR!

Just when my life seemed to be ending with my eightieth birthday, new things started happening.

First there was my birthday celebration, where we all gathered at a resort for five days. A once in a lifetime thrill for me, as I’m sure the trip the previous year was for my husband. I’m constantly amazed that our children have become so accomplished and are able to do such things for us.

Then there was my blog’s first anniversary in September. I couldn’t have expected such response.

I was asked to chair a committee for redecorating our large clubhouse and established a friendship with an interior decorator who gave us an exciting plan. Hopefully, in the next few months it will be competed.

When I suggested an idea for an entertainment at our club house, I met with a group that does “old time radio shows”. They rehearse near our home, so I stopped to introduce myself and ask them to do a program for our “Good Times Club”. Because I already knew one couple there, I mentioned my desire to do scenes from two plays which I had planned to do for several years. Not knowing how to present them because they were scenes from very serious award winning dramas, one dealing with a woman planning to commit suicide, they sat in the drawer for years. The radio show people asked me to bring them to a rehearsal so my friend could read them with me. It turned out that the one we read was so powerful we decided to do it as a play reading vehicle for our whole community. Our readings will be done in March.

I realized my dream of having wood floors installed in our two bedrooms. I never liked the carpeting in them from the time we bought eight years ago. Next year maybe there’ll be new counters in the kitchen.

Once again we held a Christmas Eve celebration for all the family in our home. This time it was totally different for us all. We bought Chinese and instigated a “Yankee Swap” where everyone got one present instead the usual dozens. A few were not happy, but all said they would do it again next year, maybe with pizza.

Although we requested no presents for us, we received a pile of gift cards for restaurants in the area. Over the past year we started to eat out more so they were appreciated.

What can I say about the final gift which I received? I now have my second book in print, thanks again to my son. The first was my cooking memoir; now one hundred of my blogs are in a spiral bound copy. One of his employees worked until Christmas Eve to finish it, which she did in tears of frustration. From my first blog to the last on December 21^st. they are beautifully printed with illustrations. (Of course, you can’t buy it at your local book store.) I was astounded!

What a year I’ve had. I’m so blessed.

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