MAKING A DIFFICULT DECISSION

There was an article in today’s paper about a doctor in her fifties not wanting anymore procedures done on her cancer ridden body. She wanted to be alert and able to spend time with her family knowing nothing could save her.

After I read this article, I looked at the large painting above our living room sofa and thought about our very special friend Mary. We are blessed to have this picture because every time we were in Mary’s art studio, I would stand and admire it.

Mary had cancer about ten years before her death and when she was diagnosed again, she told everyone, including her children that she would not go through radiation or chemo again.

When we visited her in the hospital she looked wonderfully healthy as she told us she was refusing anymore treatment and was going into a nursing home until the end. I couldn’t understand this because she seemed to be normal in every way. She had convinced her children that this was what she wanted and they finally agreed not to argue anymore about her decision.

A short time later, we visited her in the nursing home. She was lying in her bed and seemingly asleep. My husband and I stood on either side of her and each took a hand, she opened her eyes and smiled at us and then closed them again. The medicine she was receiving kept her pain free. She knew who we were, but said nothing.

We had planned to visit again several days later, but our daughter called to say she had died. She was 76 years old.

Mary was a professional artist, but also a student of our artist daughter which is how we first met her. She became an important member of our extended family and attended many celebrations in our home and was beloved by us and many others.

She made the right decision for herself. I hope as we all grow older, we’ll be able to make the right decision as to our own care.