RIDING ON A BUS

It took two days on the bus to get to Washington DC with a group of thirty-one seniors who were visiting the Capital in late October. We did all the sights with a remarkable guide who knew all the ins and outs of the Capital streets, we walked the grounds of the White House and everywhere was just teeming with residents and tourists enjoying the perfect weather. I’ll tell you about all that later.

Right now you’ll hear of the “right of passage” I had as a bus passenger. There is always a bathroom on a long distance bus tour. However, you’re told that the bus will stop every two hours to be able to use the facilities at a fast food place or state rest area.

I usually take a prescribed water pill in the morning for blood pressure, but I ‘m a smart person, so I hold off on taking my pills until later when I know it won’t be a problem. For five days I did this.

On the sixth day we left Florence, S.C. for the last leg of our trip. Everyone got up with the knowledge that we would be home in time for dinner and that our stops would be few. We had a lovely breakfast at our motel and as we left, I realized I had stupidly taken my water pill.

Now I started to feel uncomfortable. What if when we stop several hours later, I’ll get up and not be able to control myself? Two hours later, we pull off the highway to stop at a McDonalds, only to discover there wasn’t one and no other fast food place for our large bus. Our guide asked how many had to use a restroom. I was the only one to hold up my hand. I was asked to hold it for a while if I could, so I agreed.

After fifteen minutes or so, I decided to use the bathroom on the bus. I moved to the back where I was told by the people sitting there to not close the door all the way because it would lock and I wouldn’t be able to get out. I was to leave it ajar and someone would hold it closed with their foot.

This sixty passenger bus was not the smooth riding one we would normally be on for a long trip, so there was a lot of bouncing around. This was my first experience “doing my business” on a bus. There is a handle on either side of the door to hang onto. Pulling down slacks and underwear is a little difficult with one hand, but pulling them up is almost impossible, what with the bus bouncing and the door swinging. Finally I was able to open the door the whole way to leave, when the bus suddenly stops and the guide announced I was to be first one off the bus.

That wasn’t necessary now as I climbed out. My legs were shaking with all the stress of trying to stay upright in the facility. We were at a state rest stop, so the bus was parked in an upper area reserved for trucks and busses. It was a long walk to the restrooms, so by the time I got inside there were long lines of waiting women and I realized that the best thing I did was to use the bus facilities. I told anyone who was interested that the experience was enlightening. Bus restrooms are not made for women only for men.